the brilliance is in the silence
so i'm doing the opposite...?
What do you say when the thing you want to say is considered the “wrong thing” to say?
I think about taboos and what a terrible use of energy they are.
I think about how they teach us to be afraid of the dark and subsequently keep us in the dark and afraid! Are You Afraid of the Dark?
I think about how “right” and “wrong” simply do not exist. How these are just words - constructed, relative , and ever-changing. I wonder what the people afraid of change think about that? Perhaps they’d say something about how there’s comfort in the discomfort of repeating less than ideal cycles because at least it’s familiar. I guess knowing what to expect feels comfortable. Perhaps within these expectations they’re afforded a semblance of something giving the illusion of safety. Maybe you can help me understand, reader?
In my experience, however, expectations mostly precede disappointment and that is by no means a sad sentiment. it is the way of my game, the Lay of the Land ! Etc . Without expectations and without assumptions my avatar is liberated from the restraints of imaginary obstacles or limitations they would normally create with their pal, the Mind. That trickster. You gotta watch out for Mister Mind. He’s an effective assistant but you gotta be sure to train him really well first. Try it out. Make Lesson #1 (or #245 idk your Journey like that) - No More Assumptions or something. Mister Mind is a do-er, a masculine energy that prioritizes Self and ego. A quick learner- Mind is useful, we need the mind, but we also need much more than that. Whatever’s been programmed into Mister Mind without your awareness is probably holding you back. Push the boundaries a bit. Ask your avatar (yourself) what kind of world they want to explore. Have the ability to see beyond what’s in front of you and most importantly. . . . . . . .
Have fun with it t t t
I’m getting sidetracked, which will probably be a theme here, so bear with me
and only if you’d like.
Earlier we were talking about expectations and assumptions, right? Right, before Mister Mind distracted us yet again. Expectations and assumptions- I try not to have em but I “fail” all the time, obviously. However in my game I get little hearts when I acknowledge my avatar’s forgetfulness and it replenishes my immunity just a nudge. It becomes a fun game when you get the people around you, the Co-Creators of your reality, to play as well. The power in spending the day sauntering and laughing with a few people you love most as you each eventually slip up and declare, “LOL, oops! I Did It Again! I made an assumption. Got lost in the game. Oh baby, baby” because we’re all flawed (it’s part of the programming) is fucking beautiful.
So I guess to answer the aforementioned question . . . wait, reader, do you even remember the initial question?? Admittedly, I didn’t until I scrolled back up. But luckily I found an answer without noticing which is exactly why I even write in the first place, I believe.
Okay so, Class of 1 (me) and You, dear reader, if You’re indeed there and willing… what do you say when the thing you want to say is considered the “wrong thing” to say?
Well I can’t speak for you, of course, but I’m learning to say it about myself, somehow. To say it in stories. I guess what I’m trying to say is I try to tell my own stories.
TW: sexual assault
Michaela Coel won an Emmy for their series I May Destroy You. Award shows mean nothing to me, I never watch them, but that series meant a whole lot. I am blown away by Coel’s rawness despite how absolutely terrifying it can be to open yourself up to your own trauma and so generously allow others to witness. If you want to experience that sentence in a more visceral way just watch Coel’s reaction after their name is called. To allow the deepest, darkest parts of yourself to be perceived by a whole world as divided as ours is something that takes a courage I haven’t quite found yet but admire greatly. It’s also something I’ve been practicing for the last year in my own, lesser way. Basically, it’s led me to sharing things like this so you tell me how well it’s going…
I teared up watching their acceptance speech because they were obviously speaking directly to me and I was both embarrassed and flattered. They said,
Write the tale that scares you, that makes you feel uncertain, that isn’t comfortable,” they said. “I dare you … Visibility these days seems to somehow equate to success. Do not be afraid to disappear—from it, from us—for a while, and see what comes to you in the silence.
No, Coel has no clue who I am but the cool thing about being vulnerable and/or raw and/or honest is that you give people something to connect to, to resonate with, to feel less lonely, and possibly a reminder to keep going, to keep creating. I can only imagine the amount of sexual assault survivors who thought to themselves “FINALLY” when they found this series. I don’t need to sit here and type out all of the nuances. I couldn’t if I tried. The point is- It’s time we start telling our own stories. There’s a certain kind of healing to be found there.
Fiiiinally that last sentence in Coel’s speech “and see what comes to you in the silence” is the quickest and most effective route to your truth. I’ve tried to hide in the quiet since I was very young and I still don’t like loud noises but I’m teaching myself to step out of that. There is a solace to be found and wisdom to be gained but there is also much to learn from sharing with your community and collaborating with even more Co-Creators, even more expansion.
But never forget !
The brilliance is in the silence. Go find it. And share your findings if you want. Never obligated but always encouraged.
Sending you lots of luvvvv and leaving you with a Spotify playlist from I May Destroy You for sonic pleasure
xx,
lex
HI yes thank you for being here. This is a thing I’m trying & not super sure about yet but if you find something in it (besides typos b/c that’s kinda part of the whole thing) then please , by all means , join us !