NO ONE CARES WHAT U DO

isn't that wonderful news??

maybe it’s not news to you but when I moved to nyc in the autumn of 2019 i came to discover most people around me didn’t know this great piece of info!

my brother would later go on to tell me the most valuable thing he heard me declare that year was “NO ONE CAREs ABOUT YOU” whenever the need arose. I laughed and stumbled on to explain, “ya but when i say that i don’t mean …” but he stopped me and simply responded with an assured smile, “I know.”

obviously i care about my brother so i won’t insult your intelligence like i did his by attempting to clarify that of course people care about you, but people are mostly preoccupied with themselves. They’re navigating their own Games, completing their own little missions, and definitely not looking at your sneakers. Okay, some might be but u get what i’m sayin’ and if not then i’m not Here to be Clear for you just yet. I do hope that even if you don’t understand my language you are feeling what I’m conveying. being a conduit for? both? the essence. i hope you feel the essence.

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I’m sure you already know some variation of the phrase “what you focus on grows” but I myself didn’t even get to take a physics class at my high school that should not be classified as a school but rather an expensive day care that used threats and fear to cleanse kids of autonomy and original thought. I think they called em “sins.” If you resisted their rules and methods you were shamed, labeled, discredited, kicked out, or worse depending on how ya look at things UNLESS you were a

:drumroll:

Star Athlete + Church Go-er + Man = then u could pretty much get away with murder.

I never learned math or grammar or science but looking back it seems my high school provided me with excellent societal prep. If I had taken that Game too seriously i’d be a different avatar today. Fortunately, my avatar was able to learn from a young age that it was quite powerful. Kids are perceptive to their environments and can feel when something is off. They usually don’t get to choose those environments therefore they cannot escape them. They rely on ‘em for survival so they find ways to survive ‘em. Kids are inherently wise and the confident ones terrify adults who believe they themselves have already sold their souls to different lives.

Personally, one of my favorite call outs (there were many) was delivered by my high school principle cosplaying as my bible teacher for the quarter. He answered my 9th grade bible class question with “Lexi. . . . you’re a smart girl who asks stupid questions” and went on with whatever he was saying before I had so stupidly interrupted. But you see, Mr. Gilliam got it backwards because I don’t know ANYTHING (remind me why ur reading this again?) and because I don’t know anything I do occasionally ask some smart questions (oh maybe that’s why) like… you expect me to believe someone who uses fear and shame to demand I surrender my own power is the only one that can save me? and from what exactly? myself?? Sorry, but I’m not choosing that one. It’s terribly counterproductive to this whole new world of expansive freedom we’re trying to create here.

The sermon that school shoved down our throats was that we needed something OUTSIDE of ourselves to save us and we certainly weren’t supposed to question it. That someone/thing is watching every step we take and waiting for us to fuck up, to punish us, to banish us. Sound familiar? It really isn’t any wonder that we exist in an ego-centric society that believes everywhere we turn someone is out to get us, that people are inherently bad and want to take something away from us. And sure, there are people playing those games but this mental trap is creating generations of distrust and ultimately disempowerment. We become sheep looking for a shepherd to tell us where to go and what to do. Look, people are playing all kinds of games and virtual realities cross all day long but remember that only you decide who you give your power to. You choose what you believe in, you choose what to focus on, you choose what you grow, ya lil gardener!!! 🌱🌱🌱

I love this one from Diane di Prima’s Revolutionary Letters. di Prima was born in Brooklyn which is where I was living when my own copy of Revolutionary Letters was lost in an apartment fire just 12 days after her death toward the end of 2020. That was an insane sentence. Surely there’s a metaphor to be found there. okay, the letter-

Humans left to themselves are just that- human. Humans are wired for connection but lack of support/resources can catapult one into a harmful survival state. Shame pushes people to the their limits. Shame is one of the most dangerous things in the world. Have you ever wondered if you’re good enough?

well,

NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU DO and YOU ARE FREE TO DO ANYTHING

whew! that was me screaming to myself sorry you had to witness it but i really like driving this one home to myself. and to my bro, apparently.

here at everything and nothing we love a good and AND we looove freedom

was that sentence difficult to read without punctuation? well grammar is Old World too. I’ll file it away with Applications Academia sSupremacy and all other things demanding my Reverence Attention and Money in order to become something. I don’t need to become something. I am already everything and nothing. Being something feels one dimensional to me so i’ll let the Old World keep that too.

waking up in this Life Game is switching from NPC (non-player character) to first-person shooter. you go from being unconsciously trapped in the game to PLAYING the game and then things get really interesting. there are tons of missions you may choose to accept. you’ll die a few times but the rebirth usually helps you level up. don’t ask me there are no rules nO ONE CARES REMEMBER? just keep in mind that if you are only creating for yourself all the time… well, no one will want to co-create with you so good luck out there. authoritarianism is boring and very Old World

A lot of people have been tricked into thinking things like dreaming, creating, sharing, resting = waste of time but i’m gonna tell you a secret…. that is exactly how we redefine power. Systems only have value if we collectively agree that they do. Value is defined by nothing other than us believing it. Your belief gives them power. “What you focus on grows”

ID: Oxford Language definitions for the word ‘value’

What are your values? What are you giving authority to that doesn’t align with those values? What can you imagine instead?

This is where I leave you, lovely reader, for now. Before I go ---- > have a look at this photo I made of my friend on her fire escape in brooklyn where it looks like she’s dreaming of the kind of world i’d totalllly live in. she graciously hosted me for the whole month of sept. and i’ll prob write about it when it’s been processed. big love for yooou hayley <3

ID: photo of friend on fire escape holding on to window frame looking up at the sky as the sun peaks through the trees beyond her

ID: Tweet that asks How do I make my entire life a love letter to my friends

go daydream about what you wanna see! or don’t no one cares but I would recommend! keep planting, keep playing, you are free to do anything and everything and nothing love you sm bye xoxo

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big thanks from the bottom of my heart for making it to the bottom of this page! if you wanna join the party we’d love to have you! join us at the button below if you dare 🌀