less is more

things i've learned from wearing shoes less

being back in the city i grew up in is usually fun for a maximum of 2 weeks. i’ve been back for much longer. something more like 70 weeks if we’re keeping track but i’m pretty sure we’re not. when i’m here it feels like everything has changed and nothing has changed. this combo frustrates me.

when i left this place 6 years ago i was pretty into photography. it was my preferred form of expression for a while, though i never much considered why. i moved to one of the most beautiful countries i have, to this day, ever seen. i had nowhere to live but i did have 2 or 3 cameras because that was how i moved. i wandered the streets aimlessly. i found a place to live. i think i took a camera on my first… 2ish trips... after that it felt like more of a hassle than anything and i started leaving it at home. some of the most insane places i’ve ever been i have no evidence of. old Lex would cringe at the thought of missed photo ops but the lighter i could travel the better to maximize my anti-experiences. do you remember the first anti-recommendation?? 1) travel lightly ! eventually the cameras started collecting dust.

i’m from a city in a forest and god bless that forest for (among many reasons) keeping me sane. for giving me something to defend. for providing me with an escape that is grounded in reality. wait…

is it still considered an escape if it’s grounded in reality? what do you think, brilliant Reader? perhaps i’m escaping the escape. the hustle and bustle of what city folk call normal life. the world of networking and climbing invisible ladders for a $dollar$ that’s losing value by the second. of asking people what it is they do for money and somehow making some kind of assumption based on the answer. project managers that hate their jobs and people pretending to have fun at happy hours. salesman, steak dinners, and golf. small talk and polite responses. feigning interest. the world of being too “busy” for things that i consider essential. i find solace from all of this in these special forests. they give me something to ground into. they show me what is essential to life. not to be dramatic but the forests save me every dang day !

being home for over a year has allowed me to experience the seasons through the lens of these forests for the first time in a long time and definitely for the first time with this amount of reverence. i recently acquired a pair of ‘minimalist sandals’ thanks to the encouragement of someone close to me. i don’t wear them in the city but i wear them in the forest. the idea is to eventually be able to go full barefoot because my goal is proper grounding in nature. i am decolonizing my feet. shout out to my ancestors who got it figured out. for now, the sandals come off of my sensitive city feet for very short periods of trail and, ofc, to touch water. i see metaphors everywhere in nature. this process is teaching me a lot about the nature ;) of interdependence.

you see, every day is a little different in the forest. for example, after rain the moist soil is a bit softer. it’s nice to walk on. it feels like a hug. it invites you to lean in. but sometimes we go a bit without rain and the dry, thirsty soil prays for moisture. when it is brittle and craving nutrients it asks you to tread a little lighter. it asks you to be a little softer this time. and nature, that generous bish, doesn’t even ask you to pick up any slack; just to be mindful and aware of it’s current state. it’s important to know when to give and when to take.

another interesting thing i have learned is how many areas in and around my feet, most notably my ankles, are not worked at all thanks to those over-protective guardians commonly known as shoes. when you begin to move more openly, more vulnerably you are able to strengthen certain parts of yourself that you didn’t even know needed support. you aren’t afforded the opportunity of gaining strength, flexibility, and mobility when you walk around guarded all the time. bulldozing flowers and crunching sticks. ignoring the entire world of insects working and sharing the trail with you. with bare feet you pay special attention to where you’re going and how you’re moving. you’re careful not to crush things along the way. you learn to co-exist better.

a cool skill you can quickly acquire is the ability to differentiate tree roots from snakes. i love them both, but one is certainly more forgiving than the other. so i approach them differently. protecting myself by honoring the differences. some of the snakes here are poisonous.

i’m a taurus sun whose birthday is on earth day. some might say i was born for this.

grounding in nature has shown me a lot so far and i haven’t been doing it for very long. i stopped bringing any devices with me a while ago, but this experiences opens many more doors to presence. the final thing i’ll share about that today, dearest Reader, is pretty cheesy but i guess life really is hella cheesy so just bear with me. decolonizing my feet has reminded me that every step truly does matter. multi-tasking is not celebrated here. if you want to look at something you’d do well to stop, fully stop, and look at it lest you take a careless step. my friend has a story from when she first moved to spain. this friend is one to rush around stomping through space. one day after work she was was rushing through the streets of madrid, late to her gym class, while simultaneously struggling to get something out of her backpack and eating a peach. an old man quietly relaxing on a bench suddenly spoke to her. she stopped and asked him to repeat himself and in the most matter-of-fact spanish told her to sit down and eat her peach. “siéntate y come tu melocotón.” in the way that you’d oblige a grandfather she sat down right next to him on the bench. she quietly enjoyed her peach & upon finishing, thanked the man before heading on her way. spaniards don’t do “to-go” things. there’s always time to sit down and fully enjoy your coffee, your meal, your peach. i love that about them. i won’t let hustle culture trick me into thinking it’s cool to multi-task. i don’t even like multi-tasking. tasks, observations, admirations require your full attention for maximum potency. your attention is p o w e r f u l. perhaps this is what they mean when they say, “you get what you give.”

i think i’m realizing that, for me, the place i’m from is about shelter. i did come here after my apartment burned down, after all. the timing was all too peculiar. this place has always been liminal for me but as a child there’s only so much you can do about your circumstances. so i would write, i would anti-curate spaces, play loud music, take photos. i would use these tools to process the world i was living within while constantly dreaming up or transporting to new ones. ones that were more suited to my avatar. i stopped needing that when i moved to a place that was fulfilling my hungry needs in new ways. i was learning so much in the new world that there was no need to dream up different ones. i had created real-life access to them in my own reality. all the details didn’t need to be sorted. the desire, the leap was enough to get me there.

i find myself back here doing a similar thing- marinating in my sweet incubator, dreaming of my next new world. and don’t get my wrong, i love this place i really do. i sometimes feel like the luckiest person in the world for having somewhere that always has a place for me, accompanied by the warmest welcome. but i am not trapped, i never really have been. so guess what !

i will be leaving the country in 5 days. get ready for our first anti-experience TOGETHER, beloved Reader!! Are you ready? i’m so very ready. typically, i don’t publicly share many details from my trips but you here at the anti-experience will definitely be along for some of the ride 😎 . paid subscribers will get the juiciest details (privacy protected by the pay wall, u feel?). 🧿

thank you, sweet Reader, x’s a millllllion for supporting me. i love sharing this ritual with you ! 🦶

if you wanna join the fun, we’d love to have you at the button below 🗺

besitos xx

lex from the anti-experience