Help! I've Ironed Out My Thoughts and I Can't Get Up!
sike
I actually sit here and desperately long for the words to come out of me. The words that are not yet words, but something truer maybe. These Not Yet Words are a mess; tangled like a spool of yarn pulled out of a washing machine. Well, what’s this here? I could just leave it… it looks complicated. frustrating. But if I leave it I know it will get mixed up with other things. The entanglement will grow bigger, more complex, and harder to free myself from.
In these moments I consider the value of a container. A place to hold and be held— an ANTIWRITING GROUP, perhaps?
So many of us want to make things, create things, become things but I wonder if the American Dream has siloed us into believing we must do it alone. I won’t go into one of my deafening spiels about how hyperindividualism directly benefits our parasitic industries and less than ideal ideologies. All I will say is that it is physically impossible to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, obviously.
ANTIBOOTSTRAP WRITING GROUP?
Lately, the modalities I’ve learned over the years that once felt liberating (astrology, spirituality, human design, somatics, etc etc etc) are now feeling vapid. Which isn’t at all to say that these are vapid things. Our relationship to things are constantly changing because we are constantly changing. For the past three years I have hidden in a cave of my own making. I’ve learned, as a recovering pseudo-independent, that we need each other. I no longer want a cosmological weather report. I want to be witnessed by humans; I want to collaborate with them. I don’t want to be so afraid of failure. I want to create and live out our wildest fantasies, even if no one else gets it but us. It may even be more special that way.
I like camping alone, but it is better with a crew.
ANTIWRITING GROUP UPDATE:
If you’ve expressed interest in the writing group you have a separate email waiting for you in your inbox. check spam and reach out if you missed it.
If you’d still like to join the ANTIWRITING GROUP it isn’t too late! We start next week so lmk if you’d like to be looped in 🌀
oooweeee i’m getting excited for this lil group
see y’all soon
xoxoxox
lex