AN ANTIEXPERIMENT- a Writing Group for anyone who can type words
wait, a GROUP?
That’s right, folks. I am starting a Writing Group! Unless no one else joins, then I am starting a Writing Not Group! Which will be fine because historically I am not fond of groups.
HOWEVER
try as I might, and trust me, I have tried,
I haven’t been able to get this idea of a Writing Group to go away. I’ve shooed it. Rolled my eyes at it. Felt good about it. Condescended it. Laughed at it. Fully doubted it.
It’s a persistent one, this pesky little idea.
And if I’m done being snarky, I can point out that there is certainly something to be said for accountability. I know it doesn’t sound fun or sexy or romantic but accountability was a huge reason why I started this newsletter in the first place so thank you for keeping me accountable.
If you ever played competitive soccer or another sport that required a high aerobic capacity then you are familiar with the infamous, awful, dreaded Beep Test. Your heart would sink to the grass whenever a coach would call for one. For the uninitiated, the Beep Test is a fitness test in which players must continuously run back and forth between two points. You must arrive at the point before a loud, disconcerting beep sounds from CD blared through the boombox speakers (though I imagine now they are using JBL speakers and streaming it off their smartphones). The duration of time between beeps decreases as the test goes on, meaning you must increase in speed in order to beat the beep or you’re out. It is as awful as it sounds and goes on for seemingly ever. If you’re thinking well I would just run a little too slow and get out on purpose then you’ve never played competitive sports and, honestly, lucky you!
I don’t remember how it started but one day a teammate and I decided to become each other’s accountability partners. We were at similar endurance and skill levels so there was already an unspoken trust between us on the field. After the decision, we made it a whole thing as adolescent girls do. We named it, got excited about it, shouted it out at each other, hyped each other up. We would run next to each other during the tests and encourage each other and suffer while panting together. We instilled confidence into each other and through that more trust— a bond.
Perhaps it goes without saying but these Beep Tests become excruciating as they go on. Before my accountability partnership I would spend the entirety of the test wondering how the hell I managed to make every wrong decision in my life which led me to this horrible scenario, and wondering how I was going to survive it. But a funny thing happened once the partnership was formed. Suddenly, I wanted to stay in it for the long haul. I wanted to get to the next point before the abominable beep, I wanted to keep going for my partner. If she was still in it then I also needed to be in it, because I needed to be with her. And vice versa. Otherwise, how could we keep each other accountable? That’s your buddy! And who’s gonna help your buddy if you’re out?
It all feels so human. And would you look at that? I’m a human. What what do humans crave? Connection. Love. Care. Community. It sounds annoying— like a writing group— but it’s true. And with that the possibilities are endless.
Writing has been an absolute struggle for me lately. Nothing has wanted to come out of me. But I need writing. And that is the tragic story of my life.
I can hermit myself into the depths of hell, feel completely alone and lost, but miraculously one kind message from a reader or one conversation with a friend and I find myself suddenly pulled near the surface, as if cast by the net of a fisherman, where I can begin to see hazy light.
It finally clicked when I came across the following passage:
An occupational hazard of writing is that you’ll have bad days. You feel not only totally alone but also that everyone else is at a party. But if you talk to other people who write, you remember that this feeling is part of the process, that it’s inevitable.
Writers tend to be so paranoid about talking about their work because no one, including us, really understand how it works. But it can help a great deal when you need a pep talk, someone you have learned to trust, someone who is honest and generous…
That is what I had with my Beep Test accountability partner. It helped us not only survive the test, but thrive on the field and in relationship to each other as well as our craft. Despite this lesson, support is a resource that I haven’t quite learned how to tap, at least not willingly or openly. Paying subscribers to the ANTIEXPERIENCE are currently teaching me this and, without getting too sentimental, they are the reason I have continued to hit ‘publish’ on this accountability page time and time again. Thank you, ANTIREADERS. ❤️🦥
I am best in intimate settings so honestly a group of 3 people sounds great to me but what do I know? Is 3 considered a group?? I don’t know words. This is why I need a writing group!
Accountability, support, suggestions, feedback from other real humans feels like a nice idea. Open to anyone from complete beginner to expert. Working on a (not necessarily writing) project and want to talk to people about it? Come on over! Just wanna journal? Cool me too, probably. Do you write songs? I’m jealous, consider joining! Never tried your hand at writing? Would love to have you! Not feeling like yourself lately and would like to? Writing reeeeally helps with that!
For the Writing Group (ANTIWRITING GROUP?)
don’t worry, it’s casual ;)
Bi-weekly remote meet up to support each others work and maybe chat about projects, writing, thoughts, and general existentialism a little. Write a poem. Share a new song. Whatever we want! It’s our group.
The simple act of seeing and being seen, even by one person, is usually enough to keep me going. Maybe you’ll find the same goes for you. I like that, I’m here for that!
if you’re interested…
let me know by replying to this email or commenting [if you have access to comments] or reaching out to me directly however is best for you! Send to your friend who may be interested.
We can work out a day and time that fits. If you made it all the way to the bottom of this long announcement I am very proud of you.
Join me if you’re looking for support! All are welcome here. Even if I’d really prefer just a small group of 3…
