a love letter

to my body

journal entry - 2.14.22

Querida Cuerpito,

i love you

best friend, lover,

healer, protector

you have taken me to many lands

processed many types of food prepared by many body types

given and received love

made love

and also blocked me from those times i thought it existed but didn’t

never allowing me to fully receive pleasure

you, Cuerpito, know exactly how to move me through the physical reality.

you speak to me sweetly and softly

unless i disregard your needs

then you shout

reminding me who is really in charge

and how sweet surrender can be

cultivating a relationship with you has been one of my most profound experiences.

small feet have hiked, ran, skied, and sauntered gigantic mountains without so much as a complaint

the wisdom you reveal to me when i just shut up and listen

the awareness, the insights, the epiphanies

advising me to listen better to others, too

oh, the way you relish pleasure

and pain

usually at the same time

i know so little and you know so much, Cuerpito mío.

what would i be in this third dimension without you?

i hope to honor you until the day that we part

i’m sorry i still consume alcohol

one day i’ll quit- like i did the coffee

cold turkey and never looked back

but i know you always remember

even when i forget

i don’t know if we’ll ever have children, darling cuerpito

you know i’m not fond of domestication of any sort

what we’ve done to dogs saddens me

but you’ve taught me how to care for something. to be responsible for and answer to something. to wake up every day and choose something. to tend to, nurture.

not More than or Before mySelf, like parents and sometimes lovers claim,

but For mySelf

no, you never ask me to put myself second. your guidance is always bringing me home

guiding me

to my Self.

ayyye Cuerpito, you are the most literal Ride or Die i know

muchísimas gracias

<3

Lex

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lol at the “skied without a complaint” part. i wasn’t looking for it, but i randomly came across this journal entry from valentine’s day last year. the apple of my eye then is very clear, but has that changed?